I was watching TV the other morning and on came a commercial for Cottenelle toilet paper. In most cases I wouldn’t pay much attention since don’t we all use toilet paper so why the commercials? But this one stuck out. A young man was concerned with how clean his bum was before meeting his boyfriend’s mother. Excuse me? Why would someone’s mother care about your bum? I think advertisers have gone too far. I don’t want to think about anybody being “clean down there.” Enough is enough. How about we don’t allow toilet paper commercials at all? Sounds like a plan to me.

Another odd thing that I have found disturbing lately is the size of tags on clothing. If I have a simple t-shirt why do I need a 2” tag to cut into me all day long? Hey clothing people, just print the info on the inside of the neck and leave it at that.

If you abuse animals you should be charged, and based on the level of abuse, prison time should be an option. A woman in California is being charged with seven counts of cruelty after dumping a bag of three-day old puppies in 90 degree temperatures into a dumpster. Their guardian angel? A homeless man rummaging for food. Keep it classy California.

The new traffic circles in Surf City are fun to watch (the island side has its own camera). I encourage anyone with some extra time during this great weather to pull up a chair and enjoy the fun. It’s like a real life video game. Don’t like the signs that block your view? No worries, most have been hit at least once by vehicles too wide for the tiny circles. Maybe next time a community is gifted with this “European twist” the designers will realize that it is not a natural feeling to have people merging from four different directions at once. We are a society of lights and intersections, merging is not a comfortable extension of that.

If you get a seat belt ticket the fine is $25. In most cases the best option is to pay it on line or by mail. The fun part of that? It has a $150 court cost fee attached. Now if you don’t go to court and the only fee is to pay for someone taking your money and marking it paid, isn’t that a form of extortion? Just saying.

Mother Nature is alive and in full bloom and isn’t it magnificent. I can only attribute this amazing show of colors (the azaleas have never looked this good) to the Hurricane that shifted so many of our lives. Funny how nature uses such things to make things better (of course humans are just a pest to nature). Maybe we need to remember that we are all just a small spot on this wonderful canvas called life.

Remember knowledge is power, traffic circles are silly and keep your bum clean but don’t tell anyone!

 

Dorothy Royal is the owner of Surf City Guns and Ammo, mother of two wonderful children, ringmaster of a herd of miniature ponies and an avid member of the Surf City Writers Group and Topsail Book Club.