Cory Withers

North Carolina native Cory Withers graduated from UNC-Wilmington with either a B.A. or B.S. in Communication Studies. He isn’t sure which one. The fact the he doesn’t know should be grounds for the University to take it back.

Cory has the worst Peter Pan complex you’ll ever find in a person. Don’t be fooled; he’s way older than he looks. He has more fun then any millionaire heiress, and he still refuses to get out of bed before noon. He has a bad habit of telling girls that he never plans to marry, which subsequently makes them try to marry him. This still confuses him.

Cory has previously worked stints as a radio personality, television production assistant, land surveyor, pizza guy, waiter, grocery bagger, ice and fuel retailer, electrician’s assistant, and flower delivery guy and movie grip. He was bad at all of them except radio and still doesn‘t know what a movie grip is, even though he was one.

Cory decided he wanted to be writer when he realized he could do it in his underwear. This is fine and all when he’s writing from home, but his co-workers are not very fond of this habit when it takes place at the office.

Cory doesn’t have any respectable hobbies because he learned long ago that he’s okay at everything, but excellent at absolutely nothing. He likes to celebrate a weekly holiday at home called “Heavy Metal Saturday Night.” His friends don’t like this night. Cory also has no pets because he doesn’t manage his finances well enough to guarantee that he could keep them fed. At least he’s responsible enough to know that he can’t handle responsibilities like that.

If you ever want Cory to talk to you, just ask him about himself. He’s the President of the Cory Withers fan club, which has one member. Cory is a big fan of that guy, too.